Wednesday, April 24, 2013

SEE Brainstorming


The easiest assignment I felt this semester was essay #3. I found throughout the semester leading up to that essay, I had successfully learned how to create a strong piece of writing. As I started writing this year, I noticed that my writing skills had been a little rusty. My flow and organization was completely off and I did not know how to successfully create a quality essay. Through learning lessons, peer reviewing and having the option to re write, I have learned an incredible amount. That is why I think essay #3 was the easiest piece to write due to my new knowledge I had obtained from the beginning of the course.
My writing has improved in many different ways throughout this course. I had not taken an English class last semester and my writing had become weak. Throughout this course I have improved on many things. The biggest improvement in my opinion was my organization. One thing I do differently than before is fully organizing my paper and planning it out before I begin writing. This I have found extremely helpful because in the past I have written many pieces with no organization what so ever. I quickly noticed that when I have a set organized plan, my paper becomes easier to write. Another thing I improved on was the usage of pathos, ethos and logos. At the beginning of the course I had not a clue what these things meant. Sitting here, I can confidently explain what each means and give examples. By knowing these modes of persuasion, they have helped me write a better paper.
I can say myself I am not the same thinker. I look at assignments and even things such as advertisements in a completely different way. I find myself looking more in depth and trying to get the most of the assignments being given. By doing this I not only have an easier time writing about it but I also grow a deeper understanding. As we wrote our advertisement essay, it opened my eyes to the true meaning and messages advertisements portray. I find myself watching television or reading magazines and looking more into the advertisement and commercials then I did before. It’s actually quite interesting to see how these company’s sell their products and what modes of persuasion they use.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Questions

1. Does my paper seem organized?
2. Are my topic and ending sentences strong?
3. What are the strengths of my paper?
4. What are the weaknesses of my paper?
5. Does my conclusion repeat the paper?
6. What s he main thing I need to work on?
7. Do I need to add anything?

Rewrite Draft & Reflection


I have changed many things about my paper, such as adding topic and ending sentences along with a whole new paragraph. I tried to organize it in a better way then I had before and I think I was successful in doing so. By adding a forth body paragraph, my paper began to make more sense and flow better which I am proud of. 

Haley Makoski
English 200
Rhetorical Essay
               
The first tanning bed was created in 1979 and since then tanning has become a major part in many people’s lives. Over the years, the age of indoor tanners has become increasingly younger; some parents introduce their children to tanning beds as young as five years old. A recent bill regarding tanning has been introduced due to a recent finding of a mother forcing her five year old daughter to tan. People were outraged; they believed that a law was needed to prevent minors from tanning.  Andrew Rosenthal decided to highlight the issue of young tanners through his article “To Tan or Not” in The New York Times. He used the risk of getting cancer to prove his point of how younger children should not be allowed to tan.  Throughout the article Rosenthal cites many sources that not only strengthen his ethos but also his logos. For example, this piece claims that tanning at a young age increases chances of getting cancer. To support his main point of his argument, he cited many well known sources that were very credible. This gained trust in the in readers and offered a deeper understanding of his argument. Andrew includes many strong points of how tanning at a young age can cause cancer, although he does not go into much detail about them, which serves as one of his weaknesses.  If Rosenthal were to stick to one main point, instead of breaking off on different tangents, not only would this paper be more organized but would also flow better. Along with his vague points, Rosenthal also commits a fallacy which weakens his argument as well. This author shows great strengths in his article through ethos and logos but his arguments lacks due to his fallacy and unsupported points.
                The author’s main purpose was to highlight the fact that people who start tanning at a young age are at a much higher risk of getting cancer. To prove his point, he expands on the hard evidence of the damage that tanning beds can do especially to those who are younger. The author comes through as very credible with a strong ethos when he cites many of his sources, including Harvard Medical School, Yale School of Public Health and Center for Disease Control and Prevention. All of these sources are well known and very trustworthy to the public. Harvard and Yale are very well known Ivy League schools filled with the best technology and resources to investigate certain topics like tanning. He even adds that Harvard Medical School “has followed 70,000 nurses for more than two decades,” which shows how the students are only learning from the best. It also shows how long Harvard has not only been around but offering this type of research program. The longer the source has been around for, the more credible it becomes.   On top of Harvard’s record of being an Ivy League school, the fact that they had been learning from primary sources added to their credibility. By using these pieces of information from these given sources, the author has created a strong ethos for him and the article.  When an author’s ethos is strong, the article becomes more valuable and worth listening to, which serves as a strength to Rosenthal’s argument.
                Ethos is not the only appeal present in this article; the appeal of logos is strong as well. Having supporting evidence is key in a persuasive article. Rosenthal includes statistical and supporting evidence from his credible sources to prove his point clearly and precisely. For example, Rosenthal includes how Harvard found that “tanning-bed use increased the risk of developing all three major forms of skin cancer, especially for the young women who started during high school and college.”  He also includes a quote from Yale that states “indoor tanning increased the risk of developing basal cell carcinomas, the most common skin cancer, before the age of 40.” With strong evidence like this, the people reading this article not only get the idea but also strongly believe in it. Having a credible source is one thing, but having a credible source that provides detailed evidence is another. On top of citing well known, trustworthy sources, the author did a clever job in choosing which pieces of information to include. With the pieces Rosenthal included, any reader would or be close to convinced that tanning causes cancer. Which shows how his included evidence serves as a strength in his article. Rosenthal also includes that the Center of Disease Control and Prevention “found 30 percent of non-Hispanic white women age 18 to 25 had engaged in indoor tanning the previous 12 months; those ages 18 to 21 had average an astonishing 27 sessions a year.” This shows how younger women frequent the tanning beds more than older women which shows the relevance of young tanners and their risk of getting cancer. He includes this point to prove there are a number of young tanners out there and the number is increasing.  All the evidence this article consists of does a good job supporting his main idea.  When strong facts and supporting detail are present, the article not only becomes stronger but also more honorable. Although Rosenthal portrays a lot of strengths throughout his piece, his weaknesses are presented in other ways.
                The author of this article is successful in supporting his main point, but throughout the article you can find other points being made but not supported. Toward the end of his article he states a point on how tanning can become addictive. He does not however, go on to support or even elaborate on how or why it can become addictive. Throughout his piece he does a great job with addressing the fact that tanning at a young age increases the risk of cancer, but by adding another point it throws off the main idea of the article. In a way it might be persuading the audience more that tanning is bad by adding that extra point, but I feel that it is not necessary. Not only does this create confusion but also disorganization of his argument. It is extremely important to be straight forward and conscience when it comes to making a main point. Making strong points aside can weaken the arguments depth and intensity. If Rosenthal were to extend upon the addiction of tanning and somehow connected it back to his main point, it would be a different story. In a way he almost snuck the point in there which leads to an unfinished piece of business and creates a weakness in his article. If Andrew elaborated on his stance of tanning being addictive this article would be much stronger.
                On top of Rosenthal’s unsupported side points, he commits a fallacy that weakens his strong ethos. His audience includes those of a younger crowd and also parents. He uses a scare tactic to make both believe his point about tanning at a young age. His scare tactic is used by saying if you tan at a young age you will get cancer. In a way this weakens Rosenthal’s article by portraying a slippery slope. The act of tanning is not healthy but saying it causes cancer, is false because not everyone that tans gets cancer. So in a way this fallacy can weaken his ethos, which overall weaken the actual article. His credibility almost turns untrustworthy because he drills the untruthful fact that tanning causes cancer all the time into his readers minds. Some readers might find him ignorant and unknowledgeable.  If Rosenthal were to mention the percentages of people getting cancer to those who have not gotten cancer from tanning beds, and comment among the statistics, his argument would be stronger. Instead he said everyone who tans gets cancer. If Rosenthal removed this fallacy or corrected his statement, his argument would be stronger.
Next time you step into a tanning bed, I hope you have this information in mind. Is having darker skin for a short, impermanent amount of time worth getting cancer over? Rosenthal’s argument portrays ethos and logos through his many strong sources, which makes it not only truthful but creditable. Knowing these facts of tanning, I hope you decide to soak up the natural sun rays instead. Although this article requires more supportive evidence, Rosenthal does an excellent job in portraying his ethos and logos. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Revision


I decided to choose Essay 2 to revise. I feel that I have a good start on it and that there is room for improvement.  Having a strong base to work from, makes it easier to concentrate more on my weaknesses when I write.  I am also confident that I can improve on this essay because I know so much about tanning. With my background knowledge on tanning, I feel that I can add and improve more facts about it. I want to go more in depth about my argument and make it clearer. I want to organize my paragraphs in a way that each has only one main point; for example in my 3rd body paragraph I addressed two man points, I would like to make that paragraph into two in order to make it easier to understand. Another thing I would like to improve on is creating stronger topic and ending sentences. These sentences are important because they are the first and last thing the reader reads and the most important part of body paragraphs. I would also like to add quotes from different sources to prove my points; I think this will make the point of the essay stronger. Overall I think these improvements and revisions will improve and strengthen my essay.