SEE Brainstorming

The easiest assignment I felt this semester was essay #3. I found throughout the semester leading up to that essay, I had successfully learned how to create a strong piece of writing. As I started writing this year, I noticed that my writing skills had been a little rusty. My flow and organization was completely off and I did not know how to successfully create a quality essay. Through learning lessons, peer reviewing and having the option to re write, I have learned an incredible amount. That is why I think essay #3 was the easiest piece to write due to my new knowledge I had obtained from the beginning of the course.

My writing has improved in many different ways throughout this course. I had not taken an English class last semester and my writing had become weak. Throughout this course I have improved on many things. The biggest improvement in my opinion was my organization. One thing I do differently than before is fully organizing my paper and planning it out before I begin writing. This I have found extremely helpful because in the past I have written many pieces with no organization what so ever. I quickly noticed that when I have a set organized plan, my paper becomes easier to write. Another thing I improved on was the usage of pathos, ethos and logos. At the beginning of the course I had not a clue what these things meant. Sitting here, I can confidently explain what each means and give examples. By knowing these modes of persuasion, they have helped me write a better paper.

I can say myself I am not the same thinker. I look at assignments and even things such as advertisements in a completely different way. I find myself looking more in depth and trying to get the most of the assignments being given. By doing this I not only have an easier time writing about it but I also grow a deeper understanding. As we wrote our advertisement essay, it opened my eyes to the true meaning and messages advertisements portray. I find myself watching television or reading magazines and looking more into the advertisement and commercials then I did before. It’s actually quite interesting to see how these company’s sell their products and what modes of persuasion they use.

Questions

1. Does my paper seem organized?
2. Are my topic and ending sentences strong?
3. What are the strengths of my paper?
4. What are the weaknesses of my paper?
5. Does my conclusion repeat the paper?
6. What s he main thing I need to work on?
7. Do I need to add anything?

Rewrite Draft & Reflection

I have changed many things about my paper, such as adding topic and ending sentences along with a whole new paragraph. I tried to organize it in a better way then I had before and I think I was successful in doing so. By adding a forth body paragraph, my paper began to make more sense and flow better which I am proud of. 

Haley Makoski

English 200

Rhetorical Essay

               

The first tanning bed was created in 1979 and since then tanning has become a major part in many people’s lives. Over the years, the age of indoor tanners has become increasingly younger; some parents introduce their children to tanning beds as young as five years old. A recent bill regarding tanning has been introduced due to a recent finding of a mother forcing her five year old daughter to tan. People were outraged; they believed that a law was needed to prevent minors from tanning.  Andrew Rosenthal decided to highlight the issue of young tanners through his article “To Tan or Not” in The New York Times. He used the risk of getting cancer to prove his point of how younger children should not be allowed to tan.  Throughout the article Rosenthal cites many sources that not only strengthen his ethos but also his logos. For example, this piece claims that tanning at a young age increases chances of getting cancer. To support his main point of his argument, he cited many well known sources that were very credible. This gained trust in the in readers and offered a deeper understanding of his argument. Andrew includes many strong points of how tanning at a young age can cause cancer, although he does not go into much detail about them, which serves as one of his weaknesses.  If Rosenthal were to stick to one main point, instead of breaking off on different tangents, not only would this paper be more organized but would also flow better. Along with his vague points, Rosenthal also commits a fallacy which weakens his argument as well. This author shows great strengths in his article through ethos and logos but his arguments lacks due to his fallacy and unsupported points.

                The author’s main purpose was to highlight the fact that people who start tanning at a young age are at a much higher risk of getting cancer. To prove his point, he expands on the hard evidence of the damage that tanning beds can do especially to those who are younger. The author comes through as very credible with a strong ethos when he cites many of his sources, including Harvard Medical School, Yale School of Public Health and Center for Disease Control and Prevention. All of these sources are well known and very trustworthy to the public. Harvard and Yale are very well known Ivy League schools filled with the best technology and resources to investigate certain topics like tanning. He even adds that Harvard Medical School “has followed 70,000 nurses for more than two decades,” which shows how the students are only learning from the best. It also shows how long Harvard has not only been around but offering this type of research program. The longer the source has been around for, the more credible it becomes.   On top of Harvard’s record of being an Ivy League school, the fact that they had been learning from primary sources added to their credibility. By using these pieces of information from these given sources, the author has created a strong ethos for him and the article.  When an author’s ethos is strong, the article becomes more valuable and worth listening to, which serves as a strength to Rosenthal’s argument.

                Ethos is not the only appeal present in this article; the appeal of logos is strong as well. Having supporting evidence is key in a persuasive article. Rosenthal includes statistical and supporting evidence from his credible sources to prove his point clearly and precisely. For example, Rosenthal includes how Harvard found that “tanning-bed use increased the risk of developing all three major forms of skin cancer, especially for the young women who started during high school and college.”  He also includes a quote from Yale that states “indoor tanning increased the risk of developing basal cell carcinomas, the most common skin cancer, before the age of 40.” With strong evidence like this, the people reading this article not only get the idea but also strongly believe in it. Having a credible source is one thing, but having a credible source that provides detailed evidence is another. On top of citing well known, trustworthy sources, the author did a clever job in choosing which pieces of information to include. With the pieces Rosenthal included, any reader would or be close to convinced that tanning causes cancer. Which shows how his included evidence serves as a strength in his article. Rosenthal also includes that the Center of Disease Control and Prevention “found 30 percent of non-Hispanic white women age 18 to 25 had engaged in indoor tanning the previous 12 months; those ages 18 to 21 had average an astonishing 27 sessions a year.” This shows how younger women frequent the tanning beds more than older women which shows the relevance of young tanners and their risk of getting cancer. He includes this point to prove there are a number of young tanners out there and the number is increasing.  All the evidence this article consists of does a good job supporting his main idea.  When strong facts and supporting detail are present, the article not only becomes stronger but also more honorable. Although Rosenthal portrays a lot of strengths throughout his piece, his weaknesses are presented in other ways.

                The author of this article is successful in supporting his main point, but throughout the article you can find other points being made but not supported. Toward the end of his article he states a point on how tanning can become addictive. He does not however, go on to support or even elaborate on how or why it can become addictive. Throughout his piece he does a great job with addressing the fact that tanning at a young age increases the risk of cancer, but by adding another point it throws off the main idea of the article. In a way it might be persuading the audience more that tanning is bad by adding that extra point, but I feel that it is not necessary. Not only does this create confusion but also disorganization of his argument. It is extremely important to be straight forward and conscience when it comes to making a main point. Making strong points aside can weaken the arguments depth and intensity. If Rosenthal were to extend upon the addiction of tanning and somehow connected it back to his main point, it would be a different story. In a way he almost snuck the point in there which leads to an unfinished piece of business and creates a weakness in his article. If Andrew elaborated on his stance of tanning being addictive this article would be much stronger.

                On top of Rosenthal’s unsupported side points, he commits a fallacy that weakens his strong ethos. His audience includes those of a younger crowd and also parents. He uses a scare tactic to make both believe his point about tanning at a young age. His scare tactic is used by saying if you tan at a young age you will get cancer. In a way this weakens Rosenthal’s article by portraying a slippery slope. The act of tanning is not healthy but saying it causes cancer, is false because not everyone that tans gets cancer. So in a way this fallacy can weaken his ethos, which overall weaken the actual article. His credibility almost turns untrustworthy because he drills the untruthful fact that tanning causes cancer all the time into his readers minds. Some readers might find him ignorant and unknowledgeable.  If Rosenthal were to mention the percentages of people getting cancer to those who have not gotten cancer from tanning beds, and comment among the statistics, his argument would be stronger. Instead he said everyone who tans gets cancer. If Rosenthal removed this fallacy or corrected his statement, his argument would be stronger.

Next time you step into a tanning bed, I hope you have this information in mind. Is having darker skin for a short, impermanent amount of time worth getting cancer over? Rosenthal’s argument portrays ethos and logos through his many strong sources, which makes it not only truthful but creditable. Knowing these facts of tanning, I hope you decide to soak up the natural sun rays instead. Although this article requires more supportive evidence, Rosenthal does an excellent job in portraying his ethos and logos. 

Revision

I decided to choose Essay 2 to revise. I feel that I have a good start on it and that there is room for improvement.  Having a strong base to work from, makes it easier to concentrate more on my weaknesses when I write.  I am also confident that I can improve on this essay because I know so much about tanning. With my background knowledge on tanning, I feel that I can add and improve more facts about it. I want to go more in depth about my argument and make it clearer. I want to organize my paragraphs in a way that each has only one main point; for example in my 3^rd body paragraph I addressed two man points, I would like to make that paragraph into two in order to make it easier to understand. Another thing I would like to improve on is creating stronger topic and ending sentences. These sentences are important because they are the first and last thing the reader reads and the most important part of body paragraphs. I would also like to add quotes from different sources to prove my points; I think this will make the point of the essay stronger. Overall I think these improvements and revisions will improve and strengthen my essay. 

To Tan or Not?

Haley Makoski

English 200

Rhetorical Essay

               

The first tanning bed was created in 1979 and since then tanning has become a major part in many people’s lives. Over the years the age of indoor tanners has become increasingly low; some parents starting their children as young as five years old.  Andrew Rosenthal decided to highlight and address the issue of young tanners through his article “To Tan or Not” in The New York Times. Throughout the article Rosenthal cites many sources that not only strengthen his ethos but also his logos. This piece claims that tanning at a young age increases chances of getting cancer. Andrew includes many strong points of how tanning at a young age can cause cancer, although he does not go into much detail about them. This author shows great strengths in his article through ethos and logos but he lacks in fallacies and unsupported points.

                The author’s main idea was to highlight on the fact that people who start tanning at a young age are at a much higher risk of getting cancer. To prove his point he expands on the hard evidence of the damage that tanning beds can do especially to those who are younger. The author comes through as very credible with a strong ethos when he cites many of his sources. Rosenthal’s sources included Harvard Medical School, Yale School of Public Health and Center for Disease Control and Prevention. All of these sources are well known and very plausible to the public. Harvard and Yale are very well known Ivy League schools filled with the best technology and resources to investigate certain things like tanning. He even adds that Harvard Medical School “has followed 70,000 nurses for more than two decades.”  On top of Harvard’s record of being an Ivy League school, the fact that they had been learning from primary sources added to their credibility. This author did well on creating a good ethos for him and the article. When an author’s ethos is strong, the article becomes more valuable and worth listening to.

                Ethos is not the only appeal present in this article, the appeal of logos is strong as well. Having supporting evidence is key in a persuasive article. This author includes statistical and supporting evidence from his credible sources to prove his point clearly and precisely. Rosenthal includes how Harvard found that “tanning-bed use increased the risk of developing all three major forms of skin cancer, especially for the young women who started during high school and college.”  He also includes a quote from Yale that states “indoor tanning increased the risk of developing basal cell carcinomas, the most common skin cancer, before the age of 40.” With strong evidence like this, the people reading this article not only get the idea but also strongly believe in it. Rosenthal also includes that the Center of Disease Control and Prevention “found 30 percent of non-Hispanic white women age 18 to 25 had engaged in indoor tanning the previous 12 months; those ages 18 to 21 had average an astonishing 27 sessions a year.”  All the evidence this article consists of does a good job supporting his main idea.  When strong facts and supporting detail are present, the article not only becomes stronger but also more honorable.

                The author of this article is successful in supporting his main point, but throughout the article you can find other points being made but not supported. On top of that, Rosenthal also commits a fallacy that weakens his strong ethos. Toward the end of his article he states a point on how tanning can become addictive. He does not however, go on to support or even elaborate on how or why it can become addictive. Throughout his piece he does a great job with addressing the fact that tanning at a young age increases the risk of cancer, but by adding another point it throws off the main idea of the article. In a way it might be persuading the audience more that tanning is bad by adding that extra point, but I feel that it is not necessary.  His audience includes those of a younger crowd and also parents. He uses a scare tactic to make both believe his point about tanning at a young age. His scare tactic is used by saying if you tan at a young age you will get cancer. In a way this weakens Rosenthal’s article by portraying a slippery slope. The act of tanning is not healthy but saying it causes cancer, is false because not everyone that tans gets cancer. So in a way this fallacy can weaken his ethos, which overall weaken the actual article. If Andrew elaborated on his stance of tanning being addictive and removed his fallacy, his article would be much stronger.

                Next time you step into a tanning bed, I hope you have this information in mind. Rosenthal’s argument portrays ethos and logos through his many strong sources, which makes it not only truthful but creditable. Knowing these facts of tanning, I hope you decide to soak up the natural sun rays instead. Although this article requires more supportive evidence, Rosenthal does an excellent job in portraying his ethos and logos. 

Kohn's Article

As I read through Kohn’s article I found myself re-reading a lot of it. I felt that there was no organization and that his piece did not flow. He brought up many strong points about both sides of the argument. I wasn’t sure which side he was taking. He kept mentioning that grade inflation is real but then he would go back on his word and say that it was not real. I guess he was trying to tell his readers that there were two strong opinions that made sense on grade inflation. I think he ended his article on how he believes we shouldn’t have grades in our society today. Overall I think he mentioned both sides to make his original argument stronger. 

A Simple Splash

Haley Makoski

English 200

Ad Essay

A Simple Splash

Having the choice to choose visiting a city or a suburban area, most would choose the city. Cities are known for bright lights, good times and great experiences with friends. This ad is selling the definition of fun. Society’s definition of fun usually involves laughter, music, crowds of people and flashing lights. Fun is all about amusing entertainment and overall a great time. This ad illustrates fun by showing how vodka changes boring situations into bright lights and liveliness. It shows a dull suburban town coming to life as a bright and wild city once the vodka has spilt on it.

            Looking at the ad you notice the dull suburban surroundings in the background which has a dark and cold color scheme. There is nothing surrounding the picture that catches your eye however as you move to the middle you notice the bright lights and colorful atmosphere. In the foreground you notice the dazzling city popping up right in center that attracts your eye immediately. The lighting of the whole ad is focused on the oversize vodka bottle and the city that is submerged with its liquid. The waves of the liquid surrounding the colorful city signify the drops of vodka being spilt. In a way the drop of alcohol looks like it is “splashing” out the dullness and replacing it with fun.  As you approach the top of the picture, it reads “Just Add Vodka” implying that by adding vodka to something will create a fun atmosphere. As you look closer into the city you can see show lights and a community filled with life. The crowds of people in the streets make it seem like it’s the place to be. The city looks happy and electrifying opposed to the dry and unexciting surroundings.

            As the liquor is being spilt on the suburban town it suddenly takes on a whole new feeling. The uninteresting town transforms into something completely opposite. With the vodka being “added” it creates a whole new mood. Instead of being dark and boring it becomes bright and fun with just a simple splash. The illustrated change of simply adding alcohol makes you think, does involving vodka to any situation make it more fun? Once the beverage soaks into the city’s system, it becomes more attractive and appealing to any crowd rather than the outskirts. The tall sky scrapers, lit buildings and crowded streets that appear from the splash, all sell the definition of a fun night out.

            There are many things in this advertisement that are indicators of fun. The sparks and streaks of bright lights are almost like fireworks exploding from the city life. There are many show lights that shoot up toward the sky signifying the many performances occurring. The colors are warm, friendly and inviting people to join in. The lights give off a lively feel and an energetic mood which screams fun. It looks as if there are many people enjoying themselves which shows that it truly is a good time. The eye popping city that is bursting with life looks like a fun place to be.

Overall this advertisement is the definition of fun. By adding vodka like the message entails, it can turn a boring surrounding into a lively environment. It is almost a magical change when the liquid is being spilt. The new and improved environment is the complete opposite compared to the old. The fun exciting city looks more appealing opposed to the dreary surrounding suburbs.  

Statistical Claims (Logos)

I came across a USA Today snapshot that illustrated the statistical percentages of the amount of times co-workers drink/go to happy hour together. I found this very interesting-
47% - Drink a few times a year with their co-workers
24%- Drink a few times a month with their co-workers
24%- Never drink with their co-workers
5%- Drink a few times a week with their co-workers

First Claim- Since co-workers never get together outside of work,  there is not a good relationship between co-workers in offices.
Second Claim- Since co-workers get together to drink every week, they create a friendly work environment.
Third Claim- Since co-workers are going to happy hour together, personal relationships are being made which is weakening the office environment.

These claims show how you can take any kind of statistical evidence and have it support many different arguments. For example I used this statistical data to prove that the work environment is not taken seriously enough based on the amount of times co-workers go out. Then I said since co-workers go out all the time together there is a friendly environment in the office. Those are two completely different claims, one side claiming that it is a good thing that they go out frequently and the other side saying it's a bad thing. Overall you can create many different arguments using one piece of statistical data.

Take a look on Facebook

A Facebook page describes a person better than any other way. By looking at peoples pictures, friends, posts and likes on Facebook, you can tell a lot by them. Mostly everyone I know looks up a new person they have meet at school or out at a party on Facebook, and I'm one of them. My Facebook describes me as a fun, outgoing person. Some may take it as I party and enjoy time out with friends more than other things, but that's not true. I use my Facebook as a place where I can post pictures of everything I do, places I go and people I see. I keep my Facebook not just to connect with friends and share my photos with them but also so I can remember the good times I've had in the past. You can see on my Facebook that I post music videos that I enjoy and they are all of their own genre. It shows how I like different things not only from my music postings but also from the outfits I wear and put together for different occasions. Overall I think my Facebook shows my fun and interesting side.

Our Nation

From the second Obama stepped on the podium he represented America. He stood wearing a sharp suite matched with a blue tie with an American flag pin that rested on the left side of his body. The colors behind him were red, white and blue which went along with his attire. His goal of his speech was to inspire others to change the future of America, which I think he successfully accomplished. Throughout his speech he portrayed the message of, if we work together as a nation, we can improve the future of America. He kept using the words “we” and “us” to reference us as a community and nation. He made a strong point to repeated certain words to make Americans realize that we need to work together in order to make America a better place. He also referenced old promises and principals we had made as a nation to follow through with in the future. “We made ourselves anew, and vowed to move forward together.” In this quote he shows how we vowed as a nation to move forward into the future together. He strongly tries to argue that without us working together as a whole, America will not be able to improve. “But we have always understood that when times change, so must we; that fidelity to our founding principles requires new responses to new challenges; that preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action.”  Obama is clearly looking at the future of America and saying that with the future comes along new change and new responsibilities and in order to conquer the new we need to work in a collective fashion. Acting alone or singly will do no good; he says that it is crucial to act as a whole.

Obama’s main point is for all Americans to act together to better the future of America. In his speech he refers to everyone as equally free and important. He references a number of occupations in order to show how everyone is needed in order to make America a better place. “Now, more than ever, we must do these things together, as one nation, and one people.” Obama is saying that we need everyone in the nation to contribute their goods and ideas in order to successfully improve America. He stresses the point that it is important for us as citizens to work together to shape the future. He goes on to say that it is our duty to put forth our effort and dedication to shape our bright future. He ends the speech with many inspiring words but the quote that stuck out to me was, “You and I, as citizens, have the power to set this country’s course.” Here Obama shows how we as a nation have the ability to change the country not just him. Overall I felt that Obama’s speech was very inspirational and gave a very important message to us as citizens of America. 

Apple vs. Microsoft

By looking at the two different cars in the picture, which car would you rather have in the long run? The clean, organized car or the one that looks like it would break down at any time? Most, if not all would choose the car that represents the least amount of trouble and is the most attractive which in this case is the Apple. We all know for years now that Apple has been taking over with the newest and most improved technology out there. This picture is just one example of them out beating their current competitor. Over time they have been producing commercials and messages that represent how their product is the best over all the others. This image argues that Macs are better than PC’s. The organized, updated car shows the Apple symbol in the background which represents their Mac computer software. The jumbled mess on the left represents the Microsoft PC. This ad was clearly produced by Apple to convince people that their Mac computers are a better choice to purchase than a PC. The Apple car is a race car which represents fast, high-speed activity opposed to the PC car that clearly is slow-speed. The apple car also represents no problems opposed to the messy Microsoft car.  In a race against each other we clearly know who would win. The characters also add on to the message that Apple is better than Microsoft. From the look of the Apple character he looks trendier and happier opposed to the Microsoft character that looks outdated, tired and washed out. In a way the Apple character looks “cooler” than the PC character. Overall the Apple side of the image, in multiple ways is better than the Microsoft image. In the end this image shows people how Apple is better than Microsoft.

One Object That Describes You

Everything about a beach chairs screams relaxation, from the sand surrounding its legs to the warm cradle your lower half sinks in. The body forming fit comforts your whole body as you gaze at the waves crashing before you. As your feet rest in the sand, your arm stretches to meet your drink sitting at the end in the cup holder. As the sun beats down on your golden skin you tilt your head back on the head rest and enjoy the ocean breeze refreshing your whole body. Beach chairs give off the feeling of easy going, stress free relaxation, those words describes me as a person. I go with the flow and enjoy myself, never letting little things stop me from capturing the beauty of life. The vibrant, bright colors that cover every inch of a beach chair brightens and warms whatever mood you are in. Beach chairs will always be an object that reminds me of who I am and can bring me to a place I love.